Zen and Gone by Emily France

Author:Emily France
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Soho Press
Published: 2018-07-03T16:52:53+00:00

20

ESSA

The message wasn’t clear. All Essa could hear was Puck sobbing, punctuated with a few words Essa could barely understand. Something about their mom. Something about a map. And a photograph.

Essa tried to call her back, but the call wouldn’t go through. As soon as they pulled out of Gold Hill, her service dropped. She sent text after text, but a red exclamation point popped up beside each one: Failed to send.

The drive home felt like it took hours. Even when Essa’s cell service came back, Puck wasn’t answering. By the time they pulled up to the house, Essa was frantic. She raced to the front door and started fumbling with her keys. Her hands were shaking so badly, she couldn’t get her house key lined up with the lock.

“Here.” A hand reached in and steadied hers.

Oliver.

She didn’t realize he’d followed her out of the Jeep and up to the porch.

“I want to come with you,” he said. “You shouldn’t be by yourself. If something really bad—”

The sound of Essa’s phone cut him off; she had the volume turned up all the way so she could be sure not to miss a message from Puck. It was a text from Micah: Gotta drive Anish home. You okay with Chicago?

Essa looked over Oliver’s shoulder and saw the Jeep still idling at the curb. Micah and Anish waved and flashed weak smiles. They looked worried, like Essa was venturing up a poorly marked mountain trail and they feared she might not come back in one piece. She waved at them to go ahead.

“Ready?” Oliver had turned the key in the lock. He held his hand against the door and raised an eyebrow, silently asking for permission to open it.

Essa didn’t know how she felt about him seeing her family, such as it was, or witnessing whatever crisis was unfolding at her house. But she didn’t have time to send him away; she barely had time to realize she didn’t want to.

She nodded, and Oliver pushed open the door.

“Puck?” Essa walked into the living room, the kitchen, and then glanced out the backyard. No one was there. She ran down the hall, hoping to see Puck’s door shut; she always closed it when she was inside.

It was open.

Essa ran past Puck’s room and into her mother’s and, for the first time in her life, hoped her mom was in there making out with somebody. Essa wanted Puck to be upset about something usual, something Essa could handle, familiar emotional territory that she could Big Sister her way through. Essa had comforted Puck a million times when her mom brought home dates. Essa and Puck would hole up in Puck’s room and play with a bag of runes from Above the Clouds or assemble a new kite or just lie on the floor and stare up at the ones hanging from the ceiling.

Her mother’s room was empty.

The purple velvet bedspread was crumpled in a ball in the center of the bed. A multicolored glass pipe lay on the bedside table, her mother’s favorite bowl.

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